Mr. & Ms. Wrong.

Paul woke up very excited. Today was ‘the day’. It was a Sunday morning and depending on how his outing after Church service went, his ‘scouting’ may be over.  Yes, scouting. He had been at it for about 7 months now and it was looking like all his efforts and hard work was finally going to pay off. And boy, had he worked hard! He grinned as he jumped up from the bed and with a spring in his steps, went into the bathroom whistling.

‘What a journey!’ he thought. ‘But
all for my good…huh?’ As he showered, his mind went back to 7 months ago. Then,
he had celebrated his 36th birthday and he knew it was time to
settle down with a nice, young girl. Problem was, Paul wasn’t a nice man
himself and in the circles, where he ran, there were definitely no nice girls.
His now deceased mother’s words kept ringing in his mind, “To make your life
easier Paul, make sure you marry a nice, church girl. Don’t marry any of these
useless girls following you up and down. They will destroy you.” Unfortunately,
she didn’t say anything about him destroying the ‘nice church girl’s’ life.  Taking his mother’s advice to heart, he had
begun scouting for a good church girl.
Paul had a good job with a
telecommunications company. He had graduated at 25 but he didn’t want to settle
down early. “Chopping Life when you are young” was his catchphrase and some
friends even called him ‘Chopping life!’  While in school, he had been a member of one
of the secret cults on campus, involved in heavy drinking and chain smoking. He
was brilliant and smart, else he would have spent many more years in the
University like some of his friends did.  After school he joined a cultic society in
town and was fully involved in all their dealings.
So, his scouting had taken him to
3 different churches; he had approached about 3 sisters. He didn’t think he
could even remember their names now. He preferred to call them by the nicknames
he had given them. Hot. Sexy and the last one, Homely. Each of them had been a
worker in the Church. In fact, that was how he had noticed them. Drama unit. Ushering.
Hospitality. He had quickly learnt the Church’s ‘lingua franca’. Praise
the Lord
. Halleluyah. It is well and all of that and he
found ways to interject them whenever he spoke with them. But all his efforts
to establish a relationship had failed. It was like they saw through his phony
act.  Especially ‘Hot’. She was very
beautiful with curves in all the right places. The first time he spoke to her,
there was a fire inside of her that he didn’t understand and a presence she
carried that made him very uncomfortable and yet drawn to her like a moth is
drawn to fire. She had listened to him alright and had asked just one question.
“Are you born again?” He had replied, “Yes, I am ‘a’ born again.” She smiled sweetly
and said, “I don’t think so.” She brought out her hand and shook him and the
shock he had felt was far from sexual. It was as though in that handshake she
had opened his soul and seen every dirty, sordid bit of him. He had hurriedly
removed his hand from her grasp and literally ran away. He swore he could hear
her chuckle as he fled. He couldn’t have known that Pamela, aka ‘Hot’ was hot
indeed but far from his own definition. Born again, rooted in God’s word,
filled with the Holy Spirit and had a gift of discernment of spirits. Yes, she was
waiting on God for a husband but God wouldn’t let one of His’ be taken by one
who wasn’t His’ and had warned her about Paul even before he approached her. She
had listened and obeyed.
Paul had thought she would listen
to him and then say something like, ‘Let me pray about it.’ He would have been
okay with that because he had been told that 80% of the time, when girls’ say
they are praying, they are actually talking with their girlfriends about it,
listing the guy’s good qualities and also checking him out before she says Yes! 

But finally, the last Church ‘Come
As You Are Ministries’ was where he had hit the jackpot. He had seen Tina the
first time she took a solo in Church and he liked her instantly. Her beauty and
quiet demeanor helped matters too. This was definitely a good girl; if he was
lucky, one who had kept herself pure too and he knew he was going to get her!!
♠         ♠         ♠
Across town, Tina was getting
ready for service. She sang in her beautiful alto voice as she got dressed,
smiling and dancing intermittently. She was really happy that finally what she
had set out to do more than 2years ago was going to come to pass. You see, Tina
had grown up in Church. Her parents had been elders and ‘pillars’ in the Church
while she was growing up. The Church’s ‘lingua franca’ wasn’t new to her; she
spoke it all the time. But deep within, she knew she was not born again. Every
time, she heard an altar call, she thought of one new reason why she could not
go out just yet.
She had left town for University
for some years and while she was in school, she had indulged in everything in
the book. Guys. Sex. Drugs. Abortions. Smoking. Drinking. You name it. The last
time she had an abortion, she had been told she would never be able to take in
again. That had hurt her just a little and then she was over it. She had never
really liked all the mess and fuss attached to children anyway. So, whatever.
She returned to town after NYSC;
her mother was on her case to get a life and settle down and she knew just the
place to find a man who wouldn’t give her grief and was malleable… or so she
thought. She went back to the Church and joined the choir. Her parents were
known there and everyone naturally assumed that she too was born again. It
wasn’t difficult to fake the thing. Speak the language. Fake a few tongues
during prayers, cry during worship, and interject a few halleluyahs here and
there. That’s all. She felt there was really no need to be born again and now, it
was a case of ‘what will people say if they see me coming out for an altar
Top on her ‘to do’ list was – get
married. She knew marriage to a good man would offer her a kind of security
especially financially. It was with this ‘revelation’ she had dusted her Bible,
heck she didn’t even need a Bible she later realized. All she had to do was
keep pressing her phone when the Bible was being read and even if she was on
Facebook, they all assumed that she was using the Bible app.
Getting a man had not been as easy
as she had hoped. The two men she initially set her sights on had disappointed
her. One had gone ahead to marry another sister in the choir who he claimed was
‘deep’ and ‘deep calleth unto deep’, he had added. Yeah, right. Whatever. About
2 months ago, she had noticed a new brother in Church. He was tall, dark and
yes, very handsome. Cliché? But hey, it is what it is. He came early, sat in
front and seemed to be committed. She had ‘trailed’ him to his car after
service one day and she wasn’t disappointed with his 4-wheel drive. As he was entering
his car, he had caught her staring and waved at her, smiling. She waved back.
The next Sunday, he got her number and they had started talking. He finally asked
her to meet for lunch and she agreed. They had decided to meet after Church to
have lunch. And today was ‘the day’.
♠         ♠         ♠
After service, he took her to an
expensive Chinese restaurant. In her mind, she appreciated his good taste. His
clothes were well tailored, obviously expensive, his phones were the best and
most expensive in the market and his perfume lingered and lingered. And most
importantly, he seemed like a nice Christian guy. She couldn’t believe her good
Paul on the other hand was happy
that she was well behaved, seemed quiet and shy. Her skirt was well below her
knees and her make-up was modest.  He too
couldn’t believe his good fortune. This was a nice, Christian girl alright.
Over lunch, they made small talk.
“So, you are Tina and you work
with a private firm. That’s basically all I know. Tell me about yourself please.
You seem like a good Christian.” Paul began.
“Well, it’s by God’s grace.” Tina
replied, taking a sip of water and wishing it was something much stronger.
“Same here. I want to know more
about you though it seems like I know you already. Honestly.”
“That’s funny cos I feel the same
way.” Tina said, smiling.
Paul felt he should throw in some
spirituality and said, “Halleluyah! Deep calleth unto deep.”
“Exactly. Amen.”
“I’m Paul like you know. I’m a
simple person. I love God. I like people who are deep and I love kids. In future
by God’s grace, I want to have like 4 kids. Do you?”
“Love kids? Of course.” Tina
replied, “Who doesn’t? I love them passionately.”
♠         ♠         ♠
For certain individuals whose
condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you.
They are ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into a license for
immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. Jude 1:4
Beloved, do not believe every spirit,
but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets
have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1 ESV

Yeah, people come to Church for
various reasons. Believers must be careful.
1.      Test all
spirits …
2.      Actually
pray about it and listen to Him speak
3.      Don’t be
desperate and act in haste
4.      What He
tells you to do, do it
If you are in Church right now
and you are there for your own evil reasons, please repent and ask for God’s
forgiveness. It is never too later to answer an altar call. There is no sin
bigger than the other, no sin is too dirty that His blood cannot wash.
Yes, wolves in sheep clothing
have come in and deceived God’s people- brothers and sisters’ alike, but not
anymore! We receive grace to see beyond what the enemy presents, we are ready
to wait on Him. No longer will GOD’s children will snatched away and taken from
the faith.
In my story, it was tit for tat
but it could have been a believer lured out, child of God, be vigilant your
adversary, the enemy is still seeking whom to devour.
God bless y’all.
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  1. Avatar Anonymous July 19, 2014 at 3:05 pm

    Nice one ma…more grace! I was immensely blessed.

  2. Avatar IhuomaChidire July 19, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    God bless you mama. I'm sure God had me in mind when he led you to write this. Being alert on my guard is what is needed in times as ours now.

    1. Avatar Onose Adeleye Inno July 24, 2014 at 6:31 am

      ..Very much on guard! Amen. God bless u too dear. God's grace, insight and wisdom is yours for the asking…

  3. Avatar 'Delano July 19, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    God give us a discerning spirit.. in other news miss hot was actually hot. #firebrandthings!! Lol.

    1. Avatar Onose Adeleye Inno July 24, 2014 at 6:31 am

      Yes ke! Lol! She was aptly named… Amen to … God's discerning spirit!

  4. Avatar Anonymous July 20, 2014 at 8:25 pm

    thank you so much onose for this

  5. Avatar Ugo Ukam July 21, 2014 at 9:58 am

    God of Love, pls rebrand me with your grace and spirit…..that i may be purified and true…understanding the things of spirit and living in the spirit. Amen
    Thank you Onose. God bless you

    1. Avatar Onose Adeleye Inno July 24, 2014 at 6:33 am

      Amen! Amen! The prayer is for so many of us. God bless u too!

  6. Avatar Edim Etim July 22, 2014 at 8:31 am

    Hmmmm! Great revelations. Because we are his, he will let them only see their kind. You really get what you r looking for cos you can only give out just wat you have. May d eyes ofmy uunderstanding continually be opened and may I hear him when he speaks giving me a direction on what to do and where to go. Amen.

    1. Avatar Onose Adeleye Inno July 24, 2014 at 6:34 am

      Amen. Wolves in sheep clothing…everywhere… We will NOT fall prey!

  7. Avatar Edidiong July 22, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    Choice is key to destiny…let God's Word influence your choice at all times…respond to His Spirit within you, you can't be led astray… Remember, there's a way that seems right unto a man but the end thereof are the ways of death… More grace dear

    1. Avatar Onose Adeleye Inno July 24, 2014 at 6:35 am

      Exactly Edidiong… Yes we make choices but they MUST be influenced by the WORD and the Spirit's leading. God help us! Thanks dear!

  8. Avatar Anonymous July 24, 2014 at 6:38 am

    Onose, i love, love, love this story! and i enjoyed ur great sense of humour. I wish all Christian singles cld read this and be careful. I esp loved Miss Hot… Don't i just want to be as hot…. spiritually oh! LOL! Honestly, being in sync with the Holy Spirit just makes all things easier.. Thank u ma'am!

  9. Avatar Macjohnson July 24, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    Well written mam. May God continue to use you to enlighten his children. Well done


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