But…

You would know you have a besetting sin when the
only song that comes to mind when you want to pray is, “How many times, do I go against your will?” Honestly. Ever been
there? I have. When all you do is struggle to stand, fight to live right,
warring with the flesh and hiding that thing that so easily besets you and
pulls you down at each opportunity. Hey, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Kate. My
friends call me K, although I wonder why they still have to shorten a four-letter
name. Who knows, one day they could decide that K is too long and just use sign
language to call me but then, I digress.

Back to my point. I came to realize much later
that, besetting sins are no respecter of persons. If they grab you ehn… And no matter how high up on the
spiritual ladder, you are (If there is anything like spiritual ladder), they
can still target you. Must be why the Bible says, ‘don’t give the devil a foot
hold.’ ‘Cause he makes it a stronghold, you know. A little indulging and
boooom! It takes hold.
Reminds me of this guy way, way back. A child of
God. Tongue speaking. Word dividing. A leader in our local assembly. Now,
that’s one person you would never guess was struggling with something like
pornography. He was on the altar every week, dishing out the word of God,
making altar calls but when he in secret, he would find himself doing the very
thing he condemned on the pulpit. He cried and cried, wondering how long this
‘secret’ would keep him bound. He would delete his files, rededicate his life
and stay ‘clean’ for like one week and somehow, something would just trigger a
memory and he falls flat again on his face. Wait oh, I actually started out to
tell you about myself but this guy’s story has taken over. Oh well, let’s be
through with it and go to mine.
I know what you are wondering. How do I know about
this guy’s ‘secret sin’ if it was a secret? Nothing is hidden under the sun,
you know. Sometimes, these things just come out. They do. A brother borrowed
his laptop and accidentally opened the file where he had stored the graphic
images. The brother confronted him and he broke down and ‘confessed’ – in confidence. That brother couldn’t keep it to himself; He told his friend, who told his sister, who told my friend, who
confided in me. Now, I am confiding in you. Sometimes I think that God allows these
secret sins to be exposed, in order to bring them to light and help the sinner
overcome before it’s too late because there are just too many hidden sins in
the body of Christ. Preachers of the gospel, workers in Church, Children of
God. Two faced. Three faced. Many faced. If God exposes your secret sins, I
don’t think that means you have come to the end of the road. At least not to
Him. It should be a humbling experience where you can reach out and touch Him
but if in that moment, you deny it and say ‘people are out to pull you down’ bla bla bla…, then you may very well be
signing your own destruction but then again, I digress.
His name was Ikechukwu. The power of God. Much
like the man at the beautiful gate. Ugly life but seated at the gate ‘Beautiful’.
 Gave his life to Christ at a tender age
and loved God with all his heart. Little wonder he was a target but then, the
devil isn’t going to after someone who is not a threat to the kingdom of
darkness. He sees your light shining and by all means wants to make sure that
he kills it. I watched IK from a distance, wondering how he managed to keep
sane. I know my own demons sometimes threatened to tear me apart and just make
me run mad. I could sense the inner turmoil he was battling with. I didn’t
judge him. I couldn’t. But I knew many people did.
We held a programme in Church one weekend and the
guest minister spoke on the topic, ‘Would you be free?’ it was powerful. He read 2 Kings 5. The story of Namaan. Verse 1 introduced him as captain of the host, a great man, honourable, mighty man in valour etc, etc then goes… BUT he was a leper. Just one ‘thing like that’ put a stain to Naaman’s testimony. When he was through, he
made an altar call asking people who wanted to be free from the Devil’s hold to
come out. As I prayed, pretending to shut my eyes, I saw IK get up boldly.
Wait, he’s not going to the altar, is he? I asked myself. How can he? Man of
God? What would people say? I saw a few people were opening staring now as I
was. IK got to the altar and lay there flat. It seemed like time stood still. We
looked on transfixed as IK, the man of God answered an altar call for people
who were bound by the devil and wanted to be free. The guest minister sort of
noticed and quickly asked us to keep praying. I quickly lifted my jaw off the
ground and fixed it to my face firmly. That day, IK remained at that altar even
when service was ended and folks had gone home. He was weeping, shouting and as
though he was fighting with something. I saw the minister kneeling by him,
praying. I guess that was the set day for his deliverance. And I wondered what
would have happened if he didn’t answer the call to be free. I so desperately wished
that I too had been so bold to come out and be free.
Anyway, for a few weeks, no one saw IK. Rumour had
it that he was holed up somewhere but I can’t say. This one, I’m not so sure
about. Then a month later, he surfaced in fellowship and came out to testify.
Oh yes, he did. He spoke on how God delivered him from pornography. Yes, he
didn’t hide the name of the sin. He said he had destroyed all the materials and
he was now accountable to someone whom had struggled through the same thing and
by God’s grace, was still standing. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy but he was
taking it one step at a time and he trusted that God who had begun the good
work in him would see it to the finish. He ended by asking everyone who had a
‘But’ not to delay but to seek help fast!
The hall was silent when IK was through. Not a
sound. He returned to his seat with his head held high. In that moment my
friends, I was so jealous of him. What wouldn’t I give to be free?
Back to my own story… Unfortunately, time wouldn’t
let me tell mine today. Next time. I promise. Well, hopefully.
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6 Comments

  1. Avatar Edidiong November 20, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    Interesting writeup…thats why God says we should come BOLDLY to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and find grace to help in out time of need…never a hopeless case with God…thank you Lord

    Reply
  2. Avatar EDIM ETIM November 25, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Hmmmmm! Some of us will sit in the crowd and repent. God help us, Onors you know what I am talking about. Thank God we have not been given up to a reprobate mind. Inspirational piece. Good one love

    Reply

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