Where I sit, I’m infuriated; hearing hogwash does that to me. My heart is racing – for two reasons though; one, I’m itching to put things right and secondly, I’m somewhat nervous. You would think that I should have gotten over this ‘pre-speech’ jitters but no, it still comes – every time! I adjust the lapels of my trendy blue suit, pull my skirt down, smack my lips and mutter a word of prayer. I hear the moderator introducing me and I know it’s time. I rise to my feet and walk to the podium purposefully. In five, four, three, two, one…
Good morning, Mr. Moderator, the panel of judges, accurate timekeeper, my co-debaters and viewers at home. My name is Felicia Okoro and I’m here to oppose the motion that ‘All men are cheats’, with these few points of mine.
First of all, who is a man?
In our context today, I will define a man as an adult male human or a male human endowed with qualities, such as strength, considered characteristic of manhood.
Secondly, who is a cheat? A cheat in this context is one who is unfaithful to his partner.
My opponent has gone ahead to many wild assertions which I would address in the course of my debate. He said, ‘all men cheat and that it is indeed in their nature to, as they cannot be satisfied with one woman.’
He even likened being faithful to eating one soup – say, egusi soup, and being unfaithful to the craving for a mix – okro and egusi. Please go ahead and laugh, it is a ludicrous statement, at the least. It is not only wrong but it is also an affront to God, who in the beginning made man in His own image and likeness.
We know that there is nothing dishonest or impure in God; as it is written, God is light and in Him is no darkness AT ALL. How then could he have created man in His likeness but also as a cheat? I ask, did anyone force you to cook egusi in the first place? When you go to the market looking for what to cook, and you decide on egusi, stick to your decision. If tasting both or in some cases, many soups after pledging your life to just one was right, why would you go about it covertly? Why lie about it if it was the right thing?
A cheat has to tell lies to cover his atrocious acts, is dishonest to save face and is full of deceit. All these are attributes of the old man, powered by the devil. As we know, a lion begets a lion and so on. God begets a god; ‘Ye are gods’, He says. When a man is not satisfied with the wife of his youth, and seeks gratification outside, we have names for it – lust and adultery. They are also powered by the devil. We must at all times be able to differentiate lust from love; love does no harm, does not behave unseemly and is not selfish.
So, is it possible to be satisfied with one partner? Of course, it is! There are many, many faithful men out there and we shouldn’t place a label on men because of one or a few rotten eggs. Society has so warped our thinking and minds, such that unconsciously, people now naturally expect men to cheat. My opponent said so – ‘that’s how they are wired, it is in their DNA.’ I am appalled. How? What gives you the right to call all men dogs? Yes, that’s what you mean. It is only a dog that goes round mating with just any female dog. Nobody starts any venture perfect – we learn it, we improvise on it and we learn how to be best at it –together. We talk about it, pray about it and actively try to make it better. Sex is beautiful and was created by God to be enjoyed in marriage.
My opponent went on to say that a wife shouldn’t pry into her husband’s affairs, saying, ‘What you don’t know won’t kill you’. I beg to differ – what you don’t know CAN kill you. And, prying isn’t the right word though. There’s nothing wrong in scrolling through your best friend’s phone or asking questions. No, not looking for faults or affairs but because we are friends and we have no walls between us; because we are naked and not ashamed. That’s why.
What makes the difference? You ask. Christ makes the difference. As it is written, ‘in whom we live, move and have our being.’ Yes, everybody gets tempted in one way or the other but it is what you do when you are tempted that makes the difference. I know that quite a number of born-again Christians now engage in adultery but that doesn’t make it right. God doesn’t understand! His standards have not fallen.
Are there benefits? Yes, and they are enormous and literally, lifesaving. From sin. From eternal condemnation. From hurting your wife. From destroying your family. From HIV/AIDS and other related STIs. It goes on and on. I charge every man to read Ephesians 4:22-24 in the Amplified Bible. Please permit me to quote it:
‘22 that, regarding your previous way of life, you put off your old self [completely discard your former nature], which is being corrupted through deceitful desires, 23 and be continually renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh, untarnished mental and spiritual attitude], 24 and put on the new self [the regenerated and renewed nature], created in God’s image, [godlike] in the righteousness and holiness of the truth [living in a way that expresses to God your gratitude for your salvation].’
God’s grace is ALWAYS sufficient.
With these few points of mine, I hope I’ve been to convince you and not confuse you, that ‘not all men are cheats’.
The applause is deafening.
As I walk the short distance back to my seat, I only hope that beyond the cheers, I’ve passed across a message and set things straight. If I have, then I am fulfilled.